DEALING WITH BREAK UPS!
“Breakups hurt, but losing someone who doesn’t respect and appreciate you is actually a gain, not a loss.”
“If someone makes you miserable more than they make you happy, it doesn’t matter how much you love them, you need to let them go,”
Breaking up with someone can be a very dreadful experience. You lose someone, even if it’s for the better, you have lost something.
Although it sounds impossible, there are ways to try and cope with this kind of hardship.
Nothing ever seems as it was before.
You feel like you’re in an eternal state of sadness and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
But remember, after every storm there comes a rainbow, and after every cloudy day the sun shines brightly. So thins get worse before they get better.
You might feel like you can never get over it – but believe me, you can.
Things can become harder if it’s unexpected, so there is no time to mentally prepare yourself, and you suddenly lose a very big part of your life.
Whether you want to go back to your loved, or whether you want to move on, you need to give yourself time.
You could’ve called things off, temporarily or permanently; or your loved one could’ve called things.
You could’ve decided to take a break. In any case, give yourself time.
Remind yourself of your relationship experience – has she or he been able to keep you happy? Ups and downs are a part of every relationship. They’re proof that you care for each other, and they can help strengthen a relationship. But you need to see if you’re overall happy or not.
Remember; go back whenever you’re ready. Whenever you feel like you’re ready to continue where you left off. Emotionally and mentally stabilize yourself, and then take the next step.
Analyze whether going back is a good idea. I mean, if things were going so well, there wouldn’t be a reason to split in the first place.
Do NOT do anything you will regret, and don’t look and sound too desperate. The last thing you need is for someone to take advantage of you.
However, in a different case, you might not want to go back. You’ve “let go” for the greater good, or things aren’t working out, or things are over.
The trick here is mainly “acceptance”.
Unlike popular belief, you shouldn’t stop crying, or stop dwelling over it.
It’s okay to feel sad, depressed, angry, or frustrated. It’s okay to want to scream out loud. It’s okay to want to be pissed at everyone who tries to talk to you. It’s okay to be emotional. Don’t fight your feelings. You have to embrace yourself!
Let it in. The only way you can let all of this negativity out is after you let it in. Allow yourself to feel sad.
When you feel like crying, yes sure, you there are so many ways to cheer yourself up. But after a while, you’ll feel the urge to do so again. So cry – cry your heart out, and you’ll see for yourself that you’ll actually feel better.
You’re only gonna take your mind off him once you let him in your mind. When you think about it – it actually makes sense.
Take your time to grieve, only then will feel completely better.
Watch sappy shows, with a tub of ice cream in your lap. Cry your heart out. You’ll feel better.
That doesn’t mean you stay like this forever!
You’ll yourself figure out when you’re ready.
You’ll accept that it’s in the past.
Now you need to distract yourself.
Talk to the people that are close to you, and don’t shut yourself out. Your true friends will help you get through this.
Keep yourself occupied, and you shouldn’t feel the hole that your significant other left. Take up a part time job, or volunteer for helping at a summer camp, or start baking.
Perform tasks that will keep you occupied. Your mind will be distracted, and you’re less likely to go into sad-mode that way.
I can’t promise you a duration that you will be over him or her in such and such time.
But do understand that it takes time, and do remember that it IS possible.
You don’t have to get married or make huge commitment issues right after you get out of a relationship.
You wait for when you’re ready, and take the next step afterwards.
Spend time with your family, friends, do things you didn’t previously get the time to do. Surround yourself with positivity, people who make you feel better. People who distract you and people who make you genuinely feel like you can get through this.
Don’t however go around talking shit about your ex. Don’t backbite. It’s not going to make anything better.
After you’ve accepted reality, and distracted yourself, you need to learn to move on.
Everyone has their own way, and it’s okay to do it in whichever way you like as long as you do not harm yourself. Don’t start doing drugs, drinking alcohol. That will only make things worse.
Remember that you have a huge future ahead of you. Keep that in mind. You just made a mistake. You need to learn from your mistakes. Life teaches you lessons, so instead of going towards the wrong path – drinking, and doing drugs – be wise and learn where you went wrong, and avoid doing the same thing again.
Find and talk to new people, especially those who help you forget your past. It’s okay to have rebounds, as long as your intentions are clear from the very beginning.
Whatever it is, you will get through it. Just be patient, and I assure you that something good will definitely come out of it.