IS HE HAVING AN AFFAIR?
“Cheating is a choice not a mistake”
The nagging thought
One of the worst emotions, the worst feeling is when you think there’s someone other than you in your man’s life, “he’s having an affair”. You’ll sit, chewing on your nails, sick to your stomach wondering if you should ask him or if it’s just all in your head.
It’s completely normal to think so, it’s also normal if the thought has never crossed your mind. Sometimes certain events in our life influence our ability to trust people, thus making us believe everyone’s out there to hurt us. At times we’re very trusting and the idea of cheating and deception doesn’t even seem remotely possible.
But once the seed has been planted in your mind, life becomes restless after that. It captures your mind, making you unable to think about anything else. All that goes through your head is ‘Is he having an affair’?
I wouldn’t say its normal, but it has become increasingly popular for men to have mistresses. Before we answer the question ‘Is he having an affair?’ it is important to fully understand what leads to such a thing.
Understanding the need
Before progressing we have to keep in mind that the same cannot be said for all men. These are just some factors that affect some men.
At times men will look at their friends or acquaintances in their close circle and will feel the need to have an affair just to fit in. Men are commonly known to have an ego – having an affair only strengthens this. Friends, whether close or not, greatly influence behavior so this could be one of the many reasons why.
Lack of satisfaction from a relationship is a very common factor leading to a man cheating on his partner. Whether emotional or physical, if a man feels unhappy or feels that he isn’t getting it all from his partner he might resort to getting these fulfilled by someone else.
Sometimes, cheating is a habit that is instilled inside a man. It’s become more of an obligation rather than a pleasure. It becomes the sort of thing they have to do, and they cannot explain why – not even to themselves.
There are even cases where the man thinks his partner is caught up in an affair, so as revenge he does the same.
As mentioned before, the same cannot be said for all men. So before coming to any conclusions, trust your instincts. Gather, in your head, the little details you know about your partner and then go on to decide whether he is indeed having an affair or not.
If your man is suddenly drastically changing the way he looks, it could be a bad sign. This is usually linked with trying to impress his new mistress.
Unless your man is the kind of person who goes with fashion trends and changes hairstyles and dressing styles every now and then. Or if you have, yourself, suggested these changes then there is nothing to worry about.
The same can be said about changes in behavior. Changing in his moods, for example if he’s grumpier or seems happier, it could mean something. Being happy, however, doesn’t necessarily mean that a man is cheating.
The emotions that come with a new affair are usually giddiness, or him being more secretive. But then again these could just be mood swings and don’t mean that he’s definitely having an affair.
It is very common to hear that if your man has increasingly started to buy you gifts, he’s guilty of something. This could be true. Or maybe this could be his way of showing you he loves you, and there is no hidden meaning behind it.
One of the most definite reasons can be him being secretive. A very common sign is when he glances at his phone way too often or if he keeps on leaving the house to go to unknown locations. Remember, though, that he could just be waiting for his mother to call him, or might not feel the need to mention where he’s going.
So conclusively, these factors could mean anything, and simultaneously mean nothing it all. It all depends on your man’s initial behavior and attitude – which is why an alternative has been mentioned with everything.
What to do?
It is not easy to decide solely based on a one-time incident that your man is cheating on you. If you’ve notices the signs mentioned above happen more than once, or if you have concrete evidence that your man is in fact having an affair then you should simply go out and confront him.
And you have every right to be furious.
But if you’re not sure, things are different. Accusing your man of cheating could lead to an unhealthy relationship and future unpleasant misunderstandings.
In this case you have to sit down and talk it through with him. Your relationship should be able to handle this, because it is important for the both of you to fully trust each other before you can go further. So discuss it, in a civilized manner, like adults.
The last resort is to just let it go – and that isn’t easy to do. The only case where this can be done if the relationship is at an early stage or if the speciousness of a relationship is small enough to be easily ignored.
We wish you the best of luck, and hope that everything works out.