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past can not be erased


The past cannot be changed, forgotten, or erased, it can only be ACCEPTED.


“Asher, I love you.” I said, smiling and gazing at the gorgeous new necklace in my hand.

“I love you too,” he said, goofily smiling at me.

“You know you didn’t have to get me this, right?” I whispered. He just rolled his eyes and asked me to turn around. I turned around and felt his cold hands clasp the lock around my neck.

past can not be erased

 Life has been amazing ever since I married Asher. He’s kind, polite and so simple. Understanding him isn’t complicated and I love that about him. Everything about him screams simple. He never complicates anything.

He helped me get through a really ugly break up. He stood by my side, patiently.

“It looks absolutely beautiful on you,” he commented sincerely, “Even better than it did on the dummy in the display shop.”

I laugh and plopped down on the couch. He sat down next to me and I moved closer to him.

“So,” he asked, “What do you want to do?”

“Oh shit,” I muttered, running to the kitchen. There was lasagna in the oven and I had completely forgotten!

“What happened?” came Asher’s voice from the TV room.

“Charlotte, what happened?” he repeated.

“Nothing, the lasagna is over baked,” I said, “thank you for distracting me with that necklace.”
He laughed and then apologized. I just rolled my eyes and cut out the over baked parts, and took the small remaining portion to eat.

“Hmmm,” he said in delight, “Pretty good.”

I smiled at him and we continued eating while watching ‘Top Gear’.
After that we went out, ice skating and came back home long after midnight. I set the alarm for 7 o clock in the morning and went to sleep.

“Look, I know you are my wife and all, but you don’t have to wake up with me every morning,” Asher muttered.

“Who’s going to make you breakfast?” I asked jokingly.

“I’m pretty sure I can do that myself,” he said cockily.

“Well, will it be as good as mine?” I asked just as cockily.
He shook his head. I gave him a ‘I-win’ look, and we fell asleep.
I woke up the next morning by my phone ringing at 6 30 in the morning.

“Is it time to wake up?” Asher asked groggily.

“No, honey,” I said, “Go back to sleep you’ve still got half an hour.”

He nodded and started snoring again.
I jumped out of bed and started to iron his shirt and make him breakfast. Since I woke up early I had time to make him something really good.

My phone started ringing again. I checked to see who it was, but it was an unknown number. Ignoring it, I continued cooking.
At 7:15 I went and woke Asher up, and he came to the kitchen a few minutes later.

past can not be erased

“Hmmm Yeah,” he said in delight looking down at the omelet. I smiled at him and after he finished eating, locked the door behind him.

I went back to bed but my phone started ringing again.
It was the same unknown number and I decided to pick up.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Hey,” came a throaty voice.

“Who is this?” I demanded.

past can not be erased

“Jasper,” the guy at the other end of the call whispered.

I cut the call and laid back on my bed. How dare he call? And how the hell did he get my number?
Me and Jasper, we broke up 3 years ago. Asher was a friend of mine who helped me get through, and somehow along the way I started to like him.

My father then died and it was impossible for my mother to financially support the both of us, so Asher proposed to me. I wasn’t in love with him, but I did like him, so I decided to go for it.

But as time passed, we grew more and more in love and now I can’t even think about any other guy.
Our relationship ended pretty badly. Which is why we decided never to talk to each other again. Not even as friends.
When Asher and I got married, out of curiosity I checked if Jasper found another girl or not.

One of his friends told me that Jasper was now with a girl named Natalie. I was genuinely happy for him, even though it hurt a little bit hearing him being with somebody else.

I even secretly attended the wedding, seeing Jasper and Natalie look as happy as ever.

past can not be erased
Then, when things between me and Asher got better, I completely forgot about Jasper and it didn’t matter who he was with.

Jasper was my first love. We were THE couple, we were relationship goals.
With his good looks and incredible charm, he had my heart from the beginning. He looked like the bad boy, but he was kind, caring, and very funny.

He was close, with everyone, and that’s what broke us apart. He broke my heart. He left me because of some rumor, and because his family didn’t want us together.
I loved him, but I was too hurt to get back together. I waited for him to ask me to go back to him, but he never did.

He only apologized.

Now why was he calling me? Wasn’t he happy? He was the one who broke up with me anyway, so how does he have the right to call me?
Thinking about all these things, I didn’t even realize that my phone was ringing.

I looked down and saw that it was from Asher.

past can not be erased


“Hi,” he said happily.

“Hi. You sound really happy,” I stated.

“Boss is sick. I’M COMING HOME,” he fake cheered.
I laughed, “Okay, I’m waiting,” I said.

“Be right there,” he said and ended the call.
I got up, washed my face and changed out of my pajamas. I sat on the couch watching Disney channel and waited for him.

After what seemed like hours, the doorbell rang. I ran to open the door and was greeted by a big hug from Asher.

“Where is all of this happiness coming from?” I asked, smiling at him.

“Nowhere,” he grinned.
We sat back down on the couch and I waited for him to take of his boots and change out of his clothes.

“So,” I asked, “what are we going to do?”

“You,” he said, pointing at me,” young lady, are going to tell me what’s bothering you.”

“There’s nothing bothering me,” I said shrugging giving him a what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about look.

“Really?” he asked, raising his eyebrow.

“Yes.” I nodded.

He gave me an I’m-not-dumb look.

“Look, you’ve got a day off, let’s enjoy it!” I said, sounding more cheery than I felt.

“Not until you tell me whats up,” he said exasperated.

“Jasper called,” I blurted, “And I ended the call.”
He looked deep in thought.

“What are you thinking?” I asked him.

“How long since you guys broke up?” he asked me.

“Three years,” I stated.

“Why didn’t you hear what he has to say?” he asked me.
I looked at him, dumbfounded. “We agreed never to speak to each other again. We have both moved on!” I told him.

“Yes, but this must be something important if he’s calling you now,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Okay, if he calls again I’ll listen to him. But only because you say so. I want nothing to do with him,” I say stubbornly.

He smiled at me and then we sat down and watched TV for a while. Then we went out to eat burritos, and then we sat by the pool talking and laughing, and I completely forgot that there was a boy named Jasper who broke my heart and dumped me.

past can not be erased


After going back home, my phone rang again. Asher told me to answer it.
It was, indeed, Jasper.

I nodded at Asher, telling him it was Jasper. He insisted that I answer it, and then he left the room.

“Hi,” I heard Jasper say,

“Get straight to the point.” I said, my voice icy.

“Look. I have something to tell you,” he said.

“I’m listening,” I told him.

“No, not over the phone. Meet me?” he asked.

“No way in hell. Tell me now, or never.” I say.

“Please meet me,” he pleaded.

“No,” I told him, “Goodbye.”

I called out for Asher and told him to come back inside.

“I tell you everything, there was no need to leave the room.” I told him.

“I just felt like giving you privacy,” he said, “So what did he say?”

“Said he wanted to meet up to tell me something important. I said no. Don’t you even think about talking me into actually meeting up with him. I don’t know how he got my number, but he doesn’t have my address. I want nothing to do with him.” I rant, “I want everything to do with you.”

Asher pulled me into a hug and we just sat there. He then started doing some office work while I cleaned up the house a bit.

We fell asleep, and a week passed by. Everything was normal, no call from Jasper.
He then started leaving texts on my phone, telling me to meet up.
I declined it again and again.

The next morning I received a text, not from Jasper, but from another unknown number.

“Hi, I’m Natalie. Jasper’s wife. He tried reaching out to you a lot of times, but you denied having to do anything with him. I kept asking him what he wanted, why he kept asking you, but he wouldn’t tell me. He said it was very important. And I respected and trusted him. I’m texting you to tell you that he died. Committed suicide. From overdosing on Aspirin. I hope that you’re not a reason for him suicide. Police are investigating the matter, and they might visit you anytime.”

It was weekend, and I was glad Asher was laying right next to me.
I quickly woke him up, and with tears in my eyes, I made him read the message.
He hugged me and comforted me, consoled me and told me not to blame myself. He then told me to send a reply to Natalie because she seemed nice.

“Hi, I’m Charlotte,” I wrote, “We broke up three years ago. I moved on, and it looks like so did he. I’m happily married and a few days ago I received a call from him. I ignored him, but my husband suggested I talk to him. So I asked him what he wanted and he said he wanted to tell me something important and wanted to meet up. I simply refused, and he kept trying, but I didn’t want to hear from him. Then I got your text. I’m sorry for your loss, but I’d like to believe I have nothing to do with this. We decided never to speak to each other, and he broke that deal. I have the proof in case anyone wants to see. Thank you for letting me now, and my heart goes out to you.”
The police came, checked my phone and recorded both mine and Asher’s statement.

We both decided to forget this ever happened. None of us knew what was going on, and why Jasper did what he did,
And no one was ever going to know.

And I hate to admit it, but I think it’s better this way.
I want to know what happened to him. But giving in to curiosity is not always a good idea. It can involve you in things you don’t want to be involved in.

I want to know why Jasper did what he did, but I don’t want to spend my time looking for answers because I’m scared of what I might find, I’m scared because what if he did this because of me?

Not doing something doesn’t make you a coward, in fact being able to say no is bravery.
I’m happy with Asher, I’ve moved on. In life, things don’t last for long. Which is why you should cherish and enjoy the things that you have instead of running after things that you don’t have.

Because one day, you’re going to wake up and realize that it’s all gone.
Move forward, forgive people, but don’t let them break your heart twice. Be smart!

past can not be erased





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